last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
