Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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