So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
