its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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