well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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