come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
