so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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