I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
