she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he shaved USA in his pubs
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Bring me that man meat
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
