you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
