weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
