Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
