Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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