i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
