i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
