Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
