i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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