dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
