I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
