My hair reeks of homosexuality.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
