You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
