So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
