they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
