I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
