just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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