Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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