what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
