; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
