we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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