I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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