He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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