I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
