Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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