he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just googled if crying burns calories
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
