Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
