Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
