North Korea, Best Korea!
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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