tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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