Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just gift wrapped bread.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
