Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
