What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
