I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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