The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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