Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
