well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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