watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
