you traded sex for a burrito?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
