is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
