wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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