were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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