So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
